SPEAKER_00: 0:16

Hi, I'm Laiva, and this is Raising with the First, a podcast where real parents share real stories so we can all feel a little more connected on this wild journey of raising children. Today's episode is all about birth plans, curveballs, and the very different paths that lead to meeting our babies. My guest, Anita, had two C-sections. The first, an emergency after days in the hospital, hoping for vaginal birth. And the second, a carefully planned, straightforward procedure. She walks us through both experiences, what she learnt, and what she preferred. As well as what she might approach differently if she could do it all over again. And a small note before we begin. You may notice that my tone is a little bit more measured than usual. That's because Anita joined me with her weeks old baby, who was peacefully sleeping for most of our chat. The youngest guest we've ever had so far. So let's get into the episode. Hello, how are you? Oh very good, thank you. And yourself? I'm yeah, I'm good. It's a good day. It's a good day. I mean I'm a bit wet, but hey. Uh what do you expect? Shall we start with introductions? Who are you?

SPEAKER_02: 1:35

Yes. Well, thank you for inviting me. I'm Anita. Uh I'm a mum of two. I have one of them with me right now. So I'm sorry if you make noises. Um, both my babies were born by C-section, an emergency and a elective C-section.

SPEAKER_00: 1:52

Okay, let's get into it. So you said you're a mum of two, so we'll start with your first pregnancy. How many years ago was that roughly?

SPEAKER_02: 1:59

Um, my first pregnancy was in 2021, and my daughter was born in 2022, May 22. Um, pregnancy was was okay. However, when we got to our 20-week scan, we picked up that she had um a lung defect. So we had a scan every two to three weeks monitoring her lungs up to my near my due date, and I was scheduled in for an induction at 38 weeks because um they didn't want me to go into labour when they didn't have the support and the doctors and the surgeons ready. Um so I was in Jews at 38 weeks. Okay. That was my pregnancy.

SPEAKER_00: 2:41

They detected the lung failure at 20 weeks?

SPEAKER_02: 2:45

Yeah, there was a lung defect in her. Lung defect, sorry, not lung default. At 20 weeks. And then we checked the heart and then had a scan every two to three weeks to monitor the growth of the defect.

SPEAKER_00: 2:58

Um, you had your date, you knew that you were going to give birth at 38 weeks. Were you still able to have a birth plan?

SPEAKER_02: 3:05

I did have a birth plan and I really wanted to have a natural birth because I did a lot of research on her lung defect, and um having a natural birth help squeezes the fluids out of the lungs, even though the that wouldn't have made the defect go away, she would still have the defect, but I just thought it may help her take her first breath when she comes out, you know. So so I really wanted to have a natural birth. So I was induced at 38 weeks. Um, however, six days later I had an emergency C section because she was not coming out.

SPEAKER_00: 3:41

Okay, let's go back maybe to um when you get your induction. So at the beginning of that very long uh week uh or very very long six days. So um you get to 38 weeks, uh the doctors are happy with the situation. Yeah. They are happy with you going with a natural birth as long as they are ready. And that was the whole point about waiting until 38 weeks. So they have all of the medical professionals that they need ready to take care of you and take care of the baby once the baby is out.

SPEAKER_02: 4:13

Yes, is if baby needs it.

SPEAKER_00: 4:15

Okay, so and this is day one of uh 38 weeks. Okay, everyone's ready in their scrubs, ready to go.

SPEAKER_02: 4:22

Uh not quite like that, but yes, they have people in the hospital. We're ready if we if we need it then.

SPEAKER_00: 4:28

Okay, cool. And so induction. Can you can you tell me a bit more about that? What what kind of induction did you have? To be honest, I think I had everything.

SPEAKER_02: 4:37

I don't really remember much, but I did have everything. So I had like all the hormones. Um and I think on day they they said that I should have the baby by about day three.

SPEAKER_00: 4:47

Okay. And Oh, okay. So from the very beginning, the the the expectation was that it was gonna take a few days.

SPEAKER_02: 4:55

Yes. Um I was in the induction ward and I remember people going in for their induction and they were going into labor the same day or the day after, and I was not going into labor at all.

SPEAKER_00: 5:07

Okay. Did you feel like you were Rachel from Friends? Whatever you wanted to be sitting in and living with a baby and you just sitting there?

SPEAKER_02: 5:16

Pretty much. Um, I did everything I could, um, bouncing on the pregnancy boards, I think, drinking pineapple juice, eating spicy food. But no, um, my daughter did not want to be born. She was not ready to come. She was not ready. It was not the day. No. So by day five, um the doctor suggested I have a delective c-section at that point. Okay. But because of her lung, they suggested that I have a steroid injection then, go home, come back a day, I think a day later for a second dose of steroid injection, and then have the C-section. So it was all sort of so at that point I thought, okay, baby's not ready to come. This is ridiculous. I've been here for five days. I'm going to schedule in the C-section, come back a few days later. Um, but just as we decided, made that decision, and we were packing our bags to go home, my water broke.

SPEAKER_00: 6:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 6:11

So yes, late afternoon, my water broke. So I thought, great, baby's coming, and I'm staying at the hospital. And, you know, the next time when I leave the hospital, I'll have the baby. But anyway, a day later, I was not still not getting any contractions. So they put me on the drip that is supposed to um make the contractions, induced contractions. So then the next day when I was on the drips, I was getting contractions. But every time they turned down the drip, my contraction stopped. Um and my contraction was getting so bad that as well as guess an air, um, I asked for an epidural. So I had an epidural. Then by the evening, the doctor, the night shift doctor came and um checked my temperature and blood pressure, and she and it's been more than 24, I think it's been about 24 hours, or just more than 24 hours since my ward broke. So she said that I am at risk or I'm getting sepsis. Right. So at that point she said that um I need to have an emergency C section at that point.

SPEAKER_00: 7:19

With sepsis being a an infection. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 7:22

Yep. Um So then everything just happened very quickly after that. And I was very dazed because I had so much drugs. Very tired.

SPEAKER_00: 7:32

So in the middle of the night?

SPEAKER_02: 7:33

No, so that was about 7 p.m. So the night shift doctor came. Okay. Arrived, so about 7 p.m. Um, checked everything, and then that's when she said that we need to get the baby out now.

SPEAKER_00: 7:45

Okay. Okay, because you were you were 24 hours after your water broke.

SPEAKER_02: 7:50

Yeah, and I was feeling a little bit unwell.

SPEAKER_00: 7:52

Okay. So what does that mean when she says right? It's no not because if I understand it right, after um a num good number of days, when they said, Right, the baby is not coming out um naturally, it's not going to be a vaginal birth, it's as a result going to be an elective um c-section, meaning that it was turning from a natural birth into a planned C-section. But then that planned C-section didn't happen. Yes, correct. And turned into an emergency. But it turned into an emergency C-section. Yep. So what does that mean at that point when they say actually we need to get the baby out as soon as possible? W what what happens? So is that okay? So you've got to run to the theatre, do you do you have to uh get changed as quickly as possible, or uh lots of doctors run in, or what so I was already changed when I was on the trip and also when they put the epidural in.

SPEAKER_02: 8:51

And during the day I just remember being very dazed and I was f napping because the night before I didn't sleep, and as soon as I had epidural, my pain was was reduced, so I was managed to sleep a little bit. Um and when she said I needed to get the baby out, um I had it on my mind I'm gonna have a C session by then. Yeah. They read me the consent and the risks, but I I actually don't remember this until I haven't remembered this until very recently. Um I was very dazed. And then within an hour, my daughter was born. Right. So at seven or after seven they came in, seven thirty they pushed me to theatre.

SPEAKER_01: 9:36

Um and she was born at 7.50, like 20 minutes later. It was all very, very quick. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 9:45

Wow. Yeah. Did did you have a birthing partner? Yes, my husband, possibly. Okay. So you had your husband. Where where was your husband? Was he able to um follow you into the theatre? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 9:57

Yeah. So he um I I think he had to he got changed as they were pushing me into theatre, and I remember we lost him for a little bit. Um Yeah. And then uh and then all of a sudden he was there again. But yes, he was there with me the whole time.

SPEAKER_00: 10:15

Okay, fantastic. So he was able to go um to get into the theatre. Just for me to get an image about what it looks like, because it all of a sudden everything must happen so quickly, and you decided you were, you know, um completely out. But what does it look like in the theatre? Do you remember how many um doctors were there, how many nurses or midwives? Because I understand that w with a C-section, usually you have a lot of people. And in your case specifically, with uh the lung defect, did you have even more people, even more medical professionals that were here ready for you and to welcome the baby?

SPEAKER_02: 10:55

I remember there being a lot of people when we went into theatre, 15 to 20. Wow, okay. Um and it was very strange going from the induction ward to the ward when I had my drips to theatre. It was all very, very different. Um I remember there being a lot of people and people that I haven't met. Yes. So far, I've only met a couple of doctors, the midwives. Um, and these are people that I haven't met, yes, since I've been there for five days. Um, yeah, and all ready to go. Um they introduced themselves. Every one of them introduced themselves.

SPEAKER_00: 11:36

Okay, at that point it was like a memory game. Like, let's remember with my profession. No, I didn't bother with my profession. Well mixed the tags. Can you tell us about the movie?

SPEAKER_02: 11:46

Yes, I did not bother with that. I was like, okay, nice to meet you all. Um and yeah, so they had the curtain in front of me. Yeah. Um had someone's next to my head, and very quickly the baby was born.

SPEAKER_01: 12:04

And and that was it, really. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 12:07

And then once the baby is out, is that a case of everything goes quiet and people slowly walk out or No, so on the contrary, do they sort of rush to the baby, rush to you to check that everything is fine, that you don't have the infection, or they run to give you antibiotics, or I I've got no idea what what happens at this point?

SPEAKER_02: 12:30

Um they took the baby away to clean her up and weigh her and things like that. Um so there was a small team of people that we had a team of people to do the stitches and clean, like cleaned me up and then put me onto another bed to put to then take me to the maternity ward. Um oh no, recovery ward first. And at the recovery ward, um oh, I had this thing on my legs that stopped um blood clot, which vibrates every now and again. Anyway. Um, but at that point I couldn't feel most of my body anyway. So I was at the recovery ward, and my husband went with the baby to get everything that she needs checking, and actually I managed to have a bit of skin to skin with her as well when they were doing the stitches. So once she was cleaned up and weighed, they then put her on me while they were doing the stitches and cleaning me up and things like that when I was still in the um in theatre. So that was lovely.

SPEAKER_00: 13:37

Uh and then So that was your first time really meeting with your baby?

SPEAKER_02: 13:43

Yes, yeah. And she was very quiet. Very quiet. Okay. She was a very quiet baby. Did that did that worry you that she was crying? Uh yes. So I kept asking, is she breathing? Is she okay? Is she okay? And they're like, Yeah, she's fine, she's fine, she's breathing, she's just she's not just not crying. Um and they put a tube down her to clear out the um the the fluids. I mean, again, she didn't cry from that either.

SPEAKER_03: 14:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 14:07

Um then after skin skin, they took her away to do some other checks, and I went to recovery ward and my husband went with her. Um and then I think a little while later I then went to the maternity ward and then she joined me. Uh my husband.

SPEAKER_00: 14:25

Okay. Okay. What what what about the the lung defect? Um did they apart from the cleaning that you just mentioned, was there anything else that needed to happen at this point?

SPEAKER_02: 14:37

Uh at this point, she so we stayed a few days and we both needed antibiotics. Okay. So and she also had a few x-rays while we were at the hospital.

SPEAKER_00: 14:47

Right. So that they could uh assess the situation a bit better now that she was um exterior.

SPEAKER_02: 14:52

Yeah. Yep. Yeah. So she had x-rays and um Yeah, and antibiotics twice a day. But because I couldn't go with her the first day, um my husband went with her to the um oh, the special care units. Special baby care units. Yeah, special baby care units. Okay. Um for her antibiotics. Um and then I think on the second day when I could walk, I started going with them as well. Okay. Just I can see it. So you were able to walk from day two? Day two. Yes. So my C section was in the evening. So I was walking the next day in the evening. Okay. Yeah, mid-afternoon, evening time, yes. I wouldn't say walking very well, but Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 15:44

But you were mobile. Yes. Mobile, okay. What what do you remember what you were getting in terms of pain management at this point?

SPEAKER_01: 15:54

Um parasitamor and um iprofian. Okay. Alright. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 16:03

And that's strong enough?

SPEAKER_02: 16:05

Yeah, it was okay. Yeah. It was okay. Just um if I don't miss a dose. So I just have to keep taking them. Okay. Yeah. And also we were given uh lactoleose, I think that's what it's called. Oh. To get our bowels moving. Or or to help, to help actually, because we had to take that home as well. Okay. To continue taking them. And also the um the daily blood thinning injections. So the hospital, the midwife did those when we're at the hospital, and then my husband did those when we got home for 10 days.

SPEAKER_00: 16:42

Oh, did you get like uh kind of speedy training when he was a doctor?

SPEAKER_02: 16:46

Well, they just showed him how to do it in the morning and then that was it.

SPEAKER_00: 16:49

Oh, okay, right.

SPEAKER_02: 16:50

He was ready to go.

SPEAKER_00: 16:51

Good on him. Uh so it was a very speedy training. Yes. Good on him. And so hang on, I lost track. How long um did you stay at hospital for? Uh two extra nights. Two extra nights, okay. Yeah. And baby came home with you? Yes. Okay. Yeah, great. We all went home together. And so once you're home, um what does it mean after a C section? Are there any things that you can't do? Let's start, you know, very simply. Are there things that you can't do? For example, can you go upstairs, downstairs?

SPEAKER_02: 17:26

Um, I was able to, yes, to go up and down the stairs very slowly. Um I think they advised no lifting anything apart from your baby, so that's what I did. I didn't lift anything, um, couldn't drive. Um I think I got home and the first thing I did is just put my pyjamas off and and stayed in my pyramids for the rest of that day, or maybe donates few.

SPEAKER_00: 17:50

I was expecting for the rest of the month. But okay. I mean, good on you.

SPEAKER_02: 17:55

Yeah, so um I I don't really do much. Just got home. I think the difficult thing is um getting up from bed. Because when you get into bed, you've got the the next to me bed, the sidecar next to you. So getting up doesn't mean just rolling off, you kind of have to shuffle down the bed and then get off the bed. Rolling off the bed would have been easier, I think. Um getting getting up and lying down, they were difficult. That was difficult.

SPEAKER_00: 18:24

We can hear baby in the background. I think he's having a good uh good lunch or brunch. Brunch, yeah. And mentally, what what mental state were you in? Obviously, that was not the original plan. You went through lots of different phases. How did you feel once you went back home?

SPEAKER_02: 18:49

My main concern was my daughter's health. So with my birth, um, it really didn't matter how how she came out, um, I guess. So not following the birth plan, not having a natural birth. The the only reason I wanted a natural birth was was because of her anyway. So yeah, the main concern was her health and that she's okay, and when she arrived, it nothing else really mattered. So mentally I would say I was fine. It was only recently when I started processing that I realized I I was fine, I am fine, but I don't want to do that again. Yeah. Um yeah, mentally I was okay. I and I was ready to sort of start going out a week later, a week and a half later, just for some short walks um in the woods and taking her to the um children's centre and just to do some stuff together. So yeah. I felt like mentally I was okay. Um as long as she was she was fine.

SPEAKER_00: 19:53

And from a physical point of view, physical recovery, what what happens once you're Um so I was going to say discharge, but actually no, at this point you're not discharged from the hospital. You've left the hospital but you you've not got your full discharge. So what what happens from a physical point of view? Do you have any home visits additional to the ones that you may have with a vaginal birth? Or how does that work?

SPEAKER_02: 20:19

No, I think it's all the same. Oh, okay. Yeah. So we had the health visitor uh is it like one day after you get home and then five days? Um, and then to the hospital for um the midwife to check the baby and my scar, but I think that would be the same for anybody. Um so physically, like I said, it was just difficult getting up from the bed and even off the sofa and sitting down again. Um it was difficult to laugh, to sneeze, to cough, to move too much. Um, even though I was walking up and down the stairs, they were not, it was not easy to go up and down the stairs. Um I think I had a shower as well as soon as I got home, but they did suggest I could have had a shower. I can't remember if I had a shower at the hospital. But they said I could have a shower at the hospital like a day later just to keep it all clean. Yeah. Um but you had a dressing on there anyway, but it's just nice to, you know, have some warm water over you after all that. Um yeah, and it was it was definitely I could definitely like feel all the pain or um tenderness, I would say, if I kept up with my pain medications. But if I miss a dose, that's when you do feel the pain a little bit more. So my husband did a um at that point, did like a little chart for me so I can tick off um the different medications, just so I remember it every day. Yeah. And during the night as well.

SPEAKER_00: 22:08

Okay, so during the night it's fitting baby and taking my parasitamol, fitting baby and taking my ibuprofen.

SPEAKER_02: 22:15

Yes. So feeding a baby and doing uh that's the priority.

SPEAKER_00: 22:18

Is there anything else you want to add about this first experience before we jump onto your second pregnancy?

SPEAKER_02: 22:26

Uh I can't think of anything, but if I do think remember what I think.

SPEAKER_00: 22:29

We can always go back to it. So um that was your first pregnancy. After that, a couple of years later, you got pregnant again. Yeah. How was the that second pregnancy?

SPEAKER_02: 22:41

So the second pregnancy um I would say went quite smoothly. There was no concern with most of it. Um I was a bit worried at my 20-week scan, vi obviously. Um, and I remember getting to the hospital and paid for three hours parking just in case something came up. It was last time we lasted about three hours, but we're out of the hospital after 40 minutes. Was it was it because of the long detect? Yes, I was worried that there was something maybe or or anything. Or anything. It could be anything. Um so toward so when I was doing my birth plan, um actually before I was doing the birth plan, I was debating whether to have a VBAC.

SPEAKER_00: 23:25

Um And V back is vaginal birth after C-section, yeah, right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 23:31

Or an elective C-section. Um And I would say I would have wanted to have a natural birth, but at the same time, when as the months went on and I was getting towards the due date, the more I thought about it, the more I realised I didn't want to go through what I went through. And I'm very I'm a very easy go-with-the-flow person, so hence the first time I just thought I'll just go with the flow and see what happens, and it didn't really affect me too much. But this time when I thought about it, and the first few appointments with the doctors, I did say I'll just go with the flow and see what happens. And if I go into labour, go into labour. Um, but then um, and then it was getting towards the end, I realized actually I think I want to have a um elective c-section. And I did an online um King's College Hospital um workshop thing, an online workshop where they talked about the second birth after a C-section. So they were talking about the risks and um between the two options. Um and even at that point, I think I was opting for a um a natural birth instead of a Cesarian. But then, like I said, it just got got towards the end, and I realized what if it ended up being an emergency again? And speaking to friends, they were saying if um uh an electric c-section, you're in control, it's very relaxed, you're very calm. Sorry about that.

SPEAKER_00: 25:10

He agrees, he's like, yeah, we were relaxed.

SPEAKER_02: 25:14

Absolutely calm. Um, yeah, you're very calm and relaxed. So, and that sort of made me think maybe I will do that instead. And um, and actually towards the end of my pregnancy at 36 weeks, we had a scan and he measured very big. Um, so this was the 36 weeks he was measured, he measured very big. So they sent me for another gestational diabetes test a few days later. So I went in for the test and they confirmed that I have gestational, I had gestational diabetes. Um so I was negative. I think you get tested at 28 weeks, so I didn't have that at 28 weeks, but it happened towards the end of my pregnancy. Um and because they said that he measured quite big, um, it made me realise actually having a C-section would be a good idea anyway.

SPEAKER_00: 26:10

Because of the practical aspect of it? Sorry, I'm just thinking.

SPEAKER_02: 26:14

Yeah, well, because of his size and also it would be more practical for us for childcare reason.

SPEAKER_00: 26:20

Oh, sorry, chunk chunk. I don't know why. You said childcare reasons, and I thought about bait m baby number two chancellor and wh why why does his size at birth matter about child? Sorry, I don't know what's okay. Child care for the first child. For the first child. It was easier. Um yeah, of course, no, that makes sense. Um no, there is no child care for newborns. Um sorry, going back into it. So towards the end, yes. You said after a scan, you realised that the baby was measuring quite big. So at this point is when you made your final decision to go with a planned c-section. I've actually already made the decision at that point.

SPEAKER_02: 27:07

Okay, you just confirmed it. Yeah. Um and then they called me uh 38 weeks to give me a date, which is just after 39 weeks pregnant. So um because they like to do the elective c-section a week before your due date. Okay. Do you know why? Uh I don't actually know.

SPEAKER_01: 27:30

Maybe it's um to do with the placenta?

SPEAKER_00: 27:33

Yeah, maybe. About maybe having a bit more control, but giving the baby long enough to stay in and keep their growth.

SPEAKER_02: 27:42

Yeah, I don't think they want to do it before 39 weeks. They want to make sure the baby's all ready and more developed. Um, but not after your due date. But I don't know whether the guideline has changed. I mean it changes all the time. Yes. So fair enough.

SPEAKER_00: 27:59

Well we we we won't know. We won't have the answer to that, sorry.

SPEAKER_02: 28:02

Um anyway. And when I spoke to the doctors, um we did decide that if I do end up um going into labour before the elective C session date, then I depending on how far along I am, I will try to go for a natural birth. Um if I go into Labour before. Oh, okay, sorry. Thank you. Yep, yeah. Yes. Um but I didn't, even though I felt like I I was going to lay for any minutes because he just felt very big and very heavy. Um then on the day so I was thirty so I was 39 weeks on the Saturday, so they booked me on on the Monday, so 39 plus two. Um I went to the hospital at 7.30 in the morning. They I think they had four planned C-sections on the day. Right. Um and they just prioritised you. So I think I was the second person. Okay. And just Do you know what what criteria they use at this point? At that point it was because of my gestational diabetes and my age. Okay. I think. How old were you? I'm slightly older. Um 41. 41. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 29:20

So 41 plus the diabetes put you second on the list for the day. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 29:26

I think they had four books on the day. Um, and just before me, I think they had an emergency as well.

SPEAKER_00: 29:33

Yes. Yes, because of course you're planned in the day, but they stay open, it's the same team, the same theatre, I'm assuming, where they will also take the uh emergency C sections that um could happen throughout the day.

SPEAKER_02: 29:48

Okay. Yep. So uh I think it was so 7.30 we went in, um, and at 10 o'clock they said to me, You're next. Um just getting just getting everything prepped. And not long after 10 was when we went into a theatre. Um and they did the spinal block for um for the C section. So the first time I had an epiduro and the second time was spinal block.

SPEAKER_00: 30:17

What is spinal block?

SPEAKER_02: 30:18

What's spinning? Um I thought they put the the thing in your in your spine to block out all the sensation for your body. Oh, okay. So from my armpit downward.

SPEAKER_01: 30:32

What's the difference?

SPEAKER_00: 30:35

Uh well that's fine. We'll look into it.

SPEAKER_02: 30:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 30:38

Yeah. But it was it was a different approach. Is the It was slightly different.

SPEAKER_02: 30:42

I think the needles is smaller.

SPEAKER_00: 30:44

Okay.

unknown: 30:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 30:45

Um however I did feel a lot more pain this time compared to the epidural, but then when I had the epidural, I had I was on gas and air and I was very out of it. Yes. Um but this time I was very aware of every needle that went in and um like the cannula that went in my hand and and then when they did the spinal block. So I didn't find it really calming because I wasn't very aware of what was going on. And again, there was a team of people in theatre, and I thought, oh, it's not very many people this time. Um and then more people eventually came in for this. Uh and again they all introduced themselves, they're all very friendly. So that was quite nice. Um, the first time they were all probably really friendly, but very out of it. I was just very awake, very, very much knowing what's happening around me. And I don't think I liked it.

SPEAKER_00: 31:44

Yeah, I was gonna say, what goes through your mind um that second time around, where first of all, you know what to expect, but also you have that sort of anticipation building up considering you arrived there at 7:30, even before that actually, you the date was decided. So you knew what day the baby was going to be born. You've got all that time to think about it and potentially maybe relive of your first experience. So, what mental state are you in at this point, knowing what to expect?

SPEAKER_02: 32:20

Um I was a little bit anxious, knowing that it is a major surgery. Um well, the first time I didn't have time to process any of this, but this time I was processing what they were going to do. Um so yeah, a little bit anxious. Um I wasn't stressed, but I did the waiting wasn't fun, but then at least I was the second person and not the fourth person on the day.

SPEAKER_00: 32:56

Oh yeah, imagine you arrived at 7.30 and then you gave birth at like I don't know four. Two, yeah, two p.m. or two. Oh, two pm like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 33:03

They did say they like to do them one after another very, very quickly. Um the surgery itself took longer compared to the first one. Um I felt the the surgeons were more relaxed. I could hear them, you know, like talking to each other and singing, singing a little song. I remember music playing in in theatre as well. Um they probably did have music the first time, but I don't remember. But they had like music hours. I remember like listening to to it. Um and the surgery itself just took a very long time. But I think it's because they were relaxed, they were not in a rush. And also Yeah. Um and also because um after having after already having a C-section, you've got scar tissues that they have to do something with, or I don't know. Um so there's scar tissues that they had to deal with on my bladder. And then um and then they also took their time doing the stitches afterward. And the stitches this time is a lot neater than the first time.

SPEAKER_03: 34:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 34:14

Yeah, and they cut the same place.

SPEAKER_00: 34:16

Ah, so they reopened the same um one. Yeah. Okay, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_02: 34:24

Um, and then I remember like loads of tugging and pushing around. Um, and then the surgeon was asking the bed to be tilted as well, slightly towards him. I just you know. So yeah, so it took a while, um, and then suddenly I can feel really um a lot of pressure from the top of my stomach as they were pushing the baby out. Um, and then he was born.

SPEAKER_00: 34:52

Wow. Okay, and how long did that take? So the first time you said it was roughly 20 minutes. How long was that that second time around?

SPEAKER_02: 35:04

It was it was longer, but then I also but it also took quite a while to do the spinal block and then me lying down and and everything else.

SPEAKER_00: 35:14

So with the preparation as opposed to the first time, where obviously it was an emergency.

SPEAKER_02: 35:20

Yeah, and the first time I already had the epidural, so they didn't need to do anything when it comes to that. Um so we're just in theatre, go. Well, this time was in the theatre, hello. Oh, do you think you're having a boy or a girl? It was a nice little chat.

SPEAKER_00: 35:35

Oh yeah. Did you know what the baby was? No, we didn't for both. Uh oh, okay, yeah, I forgot to ask. Did you know? Okay, so it was a surprise. It was a surprise for both.

SPEAKER_02: 35:46

Um yeah, so then they lifted the baby up. Um, they dropped the curtain so we could see. Um, and my husband was like, It's a boy, and he was very loud compared to my first child. So he was he was um crying the whole time until um they put him on me, which is a few minutes later after they cleaned him up and and weigh him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 36:10

And so you had skin to skin with him as well? Yes. Yeah. And were you able to leave the theatre with him? Or did you go separately again? Uh no, I left with him. Uh yeah, I left with him. So you le all three of you left together this time?

SPEAKER_01: 36:27

Yeah, into recovery together.

SPEAKER_00: 36:28

That's quite beautiful. I I like this image. I think it's quite beautiful. That you get to um leave the theatre, all three of you. Yeah. Um and so this time you live with baby um skin to skin. Baby was good.

SPEAKER_02: 36:43

Well, actually, I was starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable because you kind of like lying flat and the baby's on you, but the baby, but because you're so flat, your head is flat as well, and your baby's head is kinda in your neck, and you can't feel most of your body like from armpit down, and you had your arms up here, so the it was just such a it was a bit of an awkward position. So after a little while, I did say, Can you um take him off me? Then my husband has some cuddles. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 37:13

Um, yeah. By the way, does that mean that when your husband has some cuddles with the baby, does that mean that it's actually the first time you get to probably see the baby? Yeah, that's true. You're like, Yeah, I've seen my baby. Really, I've seen the the top of his head. Yeah. Um, or I kind of see that there is something, but you're not really seeing the baby.

SPEAKER_02: 37:34

Yeah, apart from when they lifted him up, and I can just see this little blob out. So yeah, so I got to see him. But when he was on me, I can just about you know, you can't really move your head very well, so you can just about see his little scrunch, scrunchy face. Um Yeah, then after that, um, because they took such a long time doing his stitches and and cleaning and and everything, um, yeah, I got a little bit uncomfortable. So they took him off me because I felt like he was like sort of slipping in a weird angle. And then we went into recovery together and uh and then into the maternity ward.

unknown: 38:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 38:19

I think we were in recovery for quite a long time. Oh, so not that long.

SPEAKER_02: 38:26

It's very so this time it was a day, sort of like a morning C-section, and last time was an evening. So by night time it was all like quiet. But then this time it was, you know, people in and out. Um so I was in recovery for a little while and then we went to the maternity ward. And at this point I could not um feel my legs. But every now and again the doctors of the midwife will come and say, Can you um can you try lifting up your leg? Can you try lifting up your leg? Um I can't remember how many hours, maybe like six hours later, they said six hours later you should be able to lift uh lift your legs. Were you? Yeah. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 38:59

Yeah, no hours, yeah. So it went as expected. That that's great. And so at this point, um when were you able to go home? Or am I going in a bit too fast and something else happened in between you being able to be mobile again?

SPEAKER_02: 39:17

So I actually went home the next day this time. Um and so during the day, during the first day after he was born, um I was by the evening when they helped me get up to start walking around. And um my husband's left by then to pick up our daughter from um from a friend's house. So that's what I mean by um it's quite good to have an elective C section because in the morning she went to preschool and then our friend picked picked her up. Um so then my what my husband went home and I did spend the night on my own at the hospital. So I managed to go home the next. day um they checked his they had to check his blood sugar level because of my gestation diabetes and he was fine. They continued checking like our temperatures and my blood pressure etc. Then the next day um my blood pressure was quite low but every time I had a cold glass of water it went up to being normal. Okay. So um so then then so I kept doing that and then the next day um I asked a few times whether we could go home soon and we were discharged in the afternoon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 40:41

Mm-hmm. Okay, so you arrived um Monday 7 30am and you left um mid-afternoon, late afternoon Tuesday sort of around 2 pm something like that.

SPEAKER_02: 40:53

Okay. And just gave us all the medications that I needed um including those injections. But my husband hasn't been there and I haven't had any of those injections at that point yet. But since he's a pro at it we just took those injections home and yeah did them at home.

SPEAKER_00: 41:12

Wow baby agrees it's like yeah daddy was so good. Yes okay so you went home and this time around how did it feel physically um going home?

SPEAKER_02: 41:27

Um I I guess the physically I think it took a little lot longer but that's because I have a toddler as well um and also because the second time you're just more relaxed with everything um I kept forgetting to take the pain medications. So no chart this time sorry no chart this time no chart this time no chart this time so I kept forgetting the pain medication and when I feel pain I realise when was last time I took something um so eventually my husband did download an app to keep track of it um so so yeah we we just had to well I just had to remember to keep taking the pain medications otherwise you do feel it. Yeah and at the hospital as well before we left I remember having to ask for it um a few times but that's because I didn't know whether I was due or not and they would say oh I've just got another 30 minutes um we'll come with it soon um and I stayed at the hospital on my own the first night that that one night so I kept having to um push the button for someone to help me sit up or get up and yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 42:51

Very different experiences. Very different yeah yeah I guess it's the difference between I think at this point it's probably nothing to do with um the c section it's more case of being first baby subsequent baby um type of difference. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 43:07

Yeah so physically I think I was it was about the same um but then I mentioned with my first baby I was ready to go out and do lots of things after after a week and a half after a week, two weeks but this time I wasn't I don't think is that I'm not ready just I just quite like to spend at home to to rest um but having a toddler is difficult to rest so Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 43:36

Yeah yeah how how do you feel emotionally looking back at this c section do you feel any different uh from the first time? Emotionally afterward? Yes yeah uh now now that you're looking back at those two experiences um very different experiences uh quiet baby loud baby first pregnancy second pregnancy emergency situation prepared C section to be honest because I I think because he's a slightly bigger baby I feel like he's a bit more robust so I feel a bit better about it all um emotionally I I have been okay I think I've been okay for both um but I definitely I'd say I prefer the emergency C section the whole the whole process because I was just not aware of what was going on and it just happened and decisions were made and it just happened and the baby was here and luckily she was fine after she was born um and she we we didn't have to deal with the lung situation until a little while later um and then with this baby um I was just glad that I was able to go home the next day as well I didn't have to stay there because you you're in the hospital in such a small small space such a small space um and you know hospital air isn't exactly great to breathe in I was just desperate to go home so I was just glad that I managed to go home the next day um and then once once I was at home I was very relaxed and yeah. Actually there's a question that I completely forgot to ask about the first um C section but I was wondering considering it was an emergency did you at any point um were you at any point offered to talk with maybe the doctors uh or the nurses to sort of review what had happened you know who because as you said and that's to be expected everything happened really really fast so you really didn't have the time to process as it was happening. Did you ever have this opportunity to sit down with them a few hours later, a few days later to um discuss uh what had happened for you and for the baby?

SPEAKER_02: 46:16

Yeah I think they offered me a um like a debrief type thing six six weeks later I think they offer that after once your hormones are sort of not back normal but calmed down a bit um yeah six weeks later but I never went. Okay. Because I I felt fine. Yeah um with the first baby as long as she was okay I was I was okay. She's okay I'm okay. So and then she was okay. So so yeah I was I felt okay.

SPEAKER_00: 46:43

And that was not an option the second time around? Uh no everything was just because everything planned yeah yep that makes sense. Yeah everything was very straightforward. Great. So in that case I think we've probably gotten to the end of your story here. Is there anything else that you think we've not covered? I will have a few questions still don't sound like you're up to group but so okay so I've got probably a couple questions. The first one is now that you've been through this experience is there anything you wish you had known ahead of time to better prepare yourself um stock up on pain reliefs because you don't so at a hospital we were given the iprovin and the parasitol but they don't give you those to go home to go home with so buy them before beforehand.

SPEAKER_02: 47:41

Oh okay yeah um and are you allowed higher doses no no they're just normal ones from from the shop that we've got um time them well because you can take them both at at the same time with um different hours in between so just make sure you're in in your mind you're clear on that um have loads of food prepared at home prep your first child so she knows what's coming and um and she knows not to jump and climb on you so spend some time prepping them on this um yeah stock up on food and biscuits and snacks and things like that. Yeah fruits um don't expect things to go back to normal soon and I don't just mean um like the pain that you feel I mean like your digestive systems as well that will take days and days before it goes back to normal um and if your partner can't do can't do the injections then you will have to do the injections yourself. Luckily my husband did did mine for me but I do know people who did those injections themselves. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 49:08

No one's gonna ask did you have to do your injections but no luckily not I wouldn't have been able to do them.

SPEAKER_02: 49:14

Oh yeah I don't know if I would be able to and another thing is even though when you feel like um you don't feel the pain anymore or you feel okay take the painkillers just take them because there's been a few times when I thought oh I'm okay today um I think I think I'm all right and then another hour later it's like oh why am I in so much pain?

SPEAKER_00: 49:34

Because I didn't take any painkillers yeah uh and take those lactaloose which I think is twice a day um which really does help yeah yeah I think that's all good for me okay I think I think that was really good I mean thank you so much for sharing your experience um I learned so much I was in there with you both times uh so thank you so much for sharing your experience and um I'll speak to you very soon. Thank you thanks for having me and also I'd like to say thank you to um baby boy who um did also have his story to share uh so thank you baby he said thank you goodbye thank you and that brings us to the end of Anita's story two births two c-sections and two completely different experiences each teaching her something new about herself her needs and what truly matters in the moment in the end Anita found that her emergency c-section despite obviously being unplanned and intense suited her better simply because having less time to think and worry allowed her to feel more at ease it's a reminder that every birth is its own journey and comfort can come from unexpected places. If you'd like more details or resources related to today's episode you'll find everything in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening you've been listening to Raising with the village if you're enjoying these conversations don't forget to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform whether that's Spotify, Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts or Deezer so you never miss a new story. New episodes come out every Thursday you can also find us on Instagram at raising with the Village or on our website at raisingwith.co.uk where you'll find more about the project and past episodes. If you have a story to share about parenting step parenting or just navigating family life I'd love to hear from you. You can get in touch through the website or send a message on Instagram because every story shared helps another parent and support until next time bye